If being married is an achievement, does it mean that people over the age of 35 haven't achieved anything? This question, along with the title, are just a few versions of the questions people ask themselves and others. Despite there being a wider pool of potential suitors due to the Internet, some people are finding themselves single well into their 30s, and the hope of finding a spouse is fading—if it hasn't already. For some women, childbearing is a sign of complete womanhood, while for some men, it is a continuation of their bloodline. However, Zimbabwe being a predominantly conservative society despite its underlying moral decay, it is frowned upon to bring a child into the world without a spouse or at least a long-term partner. So does the inability to find a spouse make one a failure?
There are societal pressures in existence that validate these kinds of questions, even though we try to shrug them off by claiming we'll live on our own terms. Some have stopped attending church due to stares and awkward questions about their dating life in their 30s or 40s. It almost seems like we were simply created to make babies and go to heaven. If we haven't made a baby or two, we're the ones to pity.
Yet, this is half the story that fuels these concerns. Thanks to the Internet, we witness so many failed marriages—unions that inspired envy but ended in disaster. In a rational person's mind, something can seem beautiful at first and unravel catastrophically, destroying families and friendships for reasons we can imagine. It somehow turns out that the juice isn't worth the squeeze. This is truly messy: on one hand, you might find a spouse and ultimately regret it; on the other, you might not find one at all.
Being quite young, single, and fairly inexperienced in the art of life, I would like to continue from what I know to be true: the Word of God.
1 Corinthians 10:31 NIV
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
Isaiah 43:7 NIV
everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.
In short, these verses teach us that we ought to do everything for the glory of God. Whatever we do—whether single or married—must glorify him. I understand that we may want things in a particular way or at a particular time, but how much more capable is God in orchestrating our lives than we are? Is God not unlimited, creative, or powerful enough to craft and design our lives to live out his purpose for us?
We can be quick to lose faith in God's authority over us when we don't get what we want. Some people have desired marriage so much that they entered unions that did not glorify God in any way. David, for example, desired another man's wife so much that he allowed his mind to craft ways of disposing of Uriah. In any circumstance, God is creative enough to present opportunities that help us glorify him. Those opportunities could be caring for orphans, ministry, and many others—even while still desiring marriage. Is that not the sacrifice Jesus taught us? Did he not leave his glory to be mutilated by the very people he came to save? We still have the choice to walk the way of the Lord despite not having that thing we desire so much.
To answer the question: marriage is only an achievement when the purpose is to bring glory to God. Note that it is an achievement, not the achievement. Anything outside the glory of God is ultimately a failure. Upon closer inspection, we find that being married is not an achievement but a gift—a means in which God gave us to bring him glory. It is not something that should be used to boast. In fact, having been tasked with glorifying God in all we do, there is duty attached to it, which makes any self-service in that institute a failure.
Let us seek to bring God glory in whatever circumstance we find ourselves in because our obedience and faith will move God to unleash his grace upon us. I'll close with my favourite verse:
Exodus 34:6 NIV
And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness,